Bold move, little fish.

My dear friend, Nicole, is a truly remarkable young Catholic.  She was raised in a Catholic household and had public schooling through college.  While she was at the university, she developed a close group of Protestant friends and found great community, spiritual growth, and accountability with them.  She attended church with them and remained connected to Christ throughout college.  (This is not an uncommon scenario for many Southern Catholics, as they are generally in the minority in their faith throughout their life.)

Though Nicole never stopped attending Mass, she came to a realization that though her Protestant friends were great and had helped her in her faith journey, what she really needed and was desiring was close CATHOLIC friends who understood her ever deepening love for the Mass and the Sacraments.

However, she found, like many young Catholics, that our parish didn’t provide a young adult community and what was available in the diocese wasn’t exactly a fit for her.  And, so she prayed for guidance from the Holy Spirit on where to find community.



The first time Nicole and I ever met was after Mass one evening.  I had seen her around, but had never spoken with her.  She unabashedly walked right up to me, introduced herself, and proceeded to tell me that she had seen me and Josh for awhile at Mass and that she felt like the Holy Spirit had been pushing her to come speak to us and meet her new Catholic friends.

Obviously, I was taken a little by surprise!  It’s pretty random for someone to tell you that they think you’re supposed to be friends.  But, Nicole is such a joyful, sincere, beautiful person that I didn’t see how she could possibly be wrong!  And, guess what?  She was right.  We were meant to be friends.  We have since become close and our relationship literally sprung from our shared experience at the Eucharistic table.

As a result of meeting us, Nicole met lots of other young Catholics who were friends of ours.  She also became even bolder in reaching out to people in our parish and has gotten very involved and made lots of Catholic friends of various ages!

Nicole with us at our son's baptism

Have you ever heard the saying, “God helps those who help themselves”?  I don’t know if Nicole had ever heard that before, but she certainly implemented it in her life!

We can’t just sit around and hope that God “magically” makes the desires of our hearts become a reality.  If the desires we have are God-centered, like Nicole’s desire for young Catholic community, He is not going to deny us.  But, if all we do is sit around and wait, without putting forth any effort, we’ll probably be just that – sitting and waiting, assuming that God is ignoring us.

The truth is the Lord never ignores us and will give us the help and guidance we need to do things that will build up His kingdom if we would just trust Him and pay attention to the ways that He is nudging us forward.

So, to young adults looking for Catholic community or anyone looking for a specific ministry or group that you aren’t finding in your parish or city, instead of looking around for someone to “get things done”, maybe you need to look in the mirror.  Perhaps God is calling you to be like Nicole – bold and brave.

Maybe that desire burning in your heart is God’s call to you, to fill a gap in His Church.

Maybe God is pointing out to you someone who needs your friendship as much as you need theirs.

Maybe the desire for a support group or ministry is the same as someone else’s and God is trying to connect the two of you.

As Christ tells us, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.” (Lk. 10:2)  The laborers aren’t someone else – they are me and you.

In what ways is God calling us to be bold?  What “field” does God need us to harvest for Him?  Perhaps this Lent is a good time to meditate on this and we’ll find an answer in the glory of the Resurrection!

Facebook was different because I’m a youth minister, and Facebook is my primary mode of communication with teens.  I have lots of teens and former teens who are friends on Facebook, so I am always careful to watch what I say and how I say it.

But Twitter, well, Twitter was my “adult” world.  I could be a little more snarky and sarcastic and push the envelope a little more because all my followers (at that time) were adults.  I didn’t even tell my teens that I had Twitter because I didn’t want them to follow me – I didn’t want to have to watch what I said all the time.  I wanted to be witty and funny and flirt with the line of appropriateness.

Tweets that make me laugh. Now, when you're done reading this blog, go read a book...

Last March, someone I look up to and admire greatly said to me, “I love following you on Twitter – you’re always so funny!” The euphoric pride I felt was quickly (and thankfully) smashed by a spiritual director who asked me how the Twitter persona I had so carefully crafted was leading me closer to God.

So, when Lent rolled around last year, I decided to give up Twitter and spend some time re-evaluating how I was using this particular social media tool. I was back full force after Easter (hopefully) still witty, but also much more conscious about how I was using this technology to bring glory to God rather than to myself.  It wasn’t hard to do, and the Lenten fast served it’s purpose – with unexpected benefits.  I found myself being much more open about my personal faith on both Facebook and Twitter.

Unfortunately, the change also had some unexpected drawbacks.  I don’t get re-tweeted as much any more or get very many funny replies to my tweets – though those are relatively minor consequences and have become less important to me.  No, the biggest and most unexpected drawback has been the rejection I’ve experienced.

It turns out that some of my friends are getting sick of me always posting about “religious crap” (their words).  This would be easy to ignore if it were just random followers or one of the Facebook friends I probably wouldn’t stop to say hi to on the street (we’ve all got them).  Nope, it’s actually been some of my close “real life” friends who have started to grumble.

Social Media Rejection Sucks

One friend has started passive aggressively posting an anti-Christian video clip, article, or comment on his own Facebook wall every time I post something about my faith on mine.  Another tried to bring one of my best friends into the mix asking, “Could you talk to her about it maybe?  All that religious crap is getting kind of old.”  Some have hidden my posts from their news feeds and others have unfriended me completely.

I’m trying not to be hurt and offended by the rejection.  I’m trying to remember that even Jesus’ preaching wasn’t accepted in his hometown (Mark 6:1-13).  I’m trying to rejoice and be glad and hold out for that great reward in heaven (Matthew 5:11-12).  I’m trying to avoid the temptation to dump it all and go back to the wit and snark.  I’m trying to hold on to the people who’ve made positive comments on my posts, thanked me for sharing my faith with them, or written me privately to engage in discussion about our faith…but let’s face it – rejection sucks.  And it sucks worse (most? harder? not sure what the right superlative is here…) when you are rejected in any way – even a small way – by those you are closest to.

So, one of my penances for this Lent is not giving up Facebook or Twitter.  I love social media and it would be hard for me to stay away from it – even for just personal use (I know some youth ministers who make a commitment to only use Facebook for work).  But I’m wondering if giving them up might be the easy way out.  Instead, I’m going to be making an even more concerted effort to ask myself before I post anything, “How does this bring glory to God?”

That doesn’t mean I can’t still be witty and funny – even making others laugh can bring glory to God (as I wrote in a previous blog), but it does mean laying off the sarcasm and stepping up the personal witness.  It means continuing to share articles about the USCCB’s latest response to the HHS mandate because I’m called to be a light in the darkness (John 1:5).  It means sharing about what God is doing in and through my heart as I journey through St. Louis de Montfort’s Total Consecration this Lent with humility because it is a way I can honor both Christ and His Mother.    It means creating my Twitter and Facebook worlds to be a place of true Christian community because it is one way I can live out the communal life of the apostles in the 21st century (Acts 2:42-45).

My sincerest hope is that by not giving up Facebook or Twitter during Lent this year, I can better live out Paul’s challenge in his letter to the Phillippians.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. (4:8)

Maybe you are giving up Facebook and Twitter (in which case, you probably won’t see this blog until after Easter), but if you’re not, I’d love for you to join me…  Risk rejection; share more than just your “head knowledge” of your faith and start sharing your heart.  Then, when all of our social media fasting brethren return after Easter, maybe they’ll find Facebook and Twitter to be better, holier places than when they left.

Are you shielding God from working?

Last night, as I was tucking in my three year old, and singing (if I can generously call it that) Ba-Ba-Black Sheep to her like I do every night, I was interrupted by her.  She was very upset all of a sudden, and I had to stop singing to hear what was going on.  ”We forgot to pray tonight! We forgot to pray tonight!”  Here I was, not being particularly patient, trying to put my kid to bed so that I coud just go eat some cookies and milk and veg out downstairs a bit.  But my haste, my lack of patience, and my desire to just shut off my brain pushed me to forget probably the most important 8 minutes with my family of every day…

Us adults think we’re so smart.  We’ve got it all figured out, and we’ve got our busy lives with our busy schedules, and our grand plans.  And quite often,those grand plans get in God’s way – even if our goal is to teach our faith in Christ to other people.

A few year’s back, the theme at our Diocesan Youth Convention was superheroes.  And Friday night of the convention traditionally offers the Sacrament of Reconciliation and a short service before that to help prepare us.  This particular year, it seemed like there was a committee meeting to plan the service, and 6 people had ideas – and all of the ideas were taken & used.  There was music being played.  There were teens reading questions and statements to help us examine our consciences.  There was a superman cut-out on stage that was slowly being transformed into Jesus.  There were pictures on the big screens we were told to pay attention to.  Oh, and did I mention we were supposed to be preparing for Confession?  I was so distracted, I didn’t know what to look at or think about – and I’m pretty decent at focusing when I want to.

So, between that music, the reading, the pictures, the words being blared at us… God was blocked.  I’m sure that all best intentions were present in all of those actions.  I’m sure a good amount of thought & work went into each of the different components.  I’m sure everyone on the committee thought each of the components were great – but at some point, it was forgotten to sit back, pray and see what God had in mind for that.  Because I am also sure that what God had in mind was unintentionally pushed to the side – just as I pushed God to the side last night before my three year old daughter called me out on it.

In our lives, God gives us lots and lots of opportunities to share our faith.  We’ve just learned really well as a culture how to push those opportunities to the side, not be noticed as different, and how to compartmentalize.

I know this is being hammered over our heads (both on this site and everywhere else) but this thing called Lent starts tomorrow.  How about we wear our Ashes with pride tomorrow?  How about we ask people what they’re doing for Lent – and we ready ourselves to not only share what we’re doing for Lent but also why we’re doing it?  (And if anyone tries to remind you about Jesus telling people to go into their inner room to pray, remind them that Jesus said we are the light of the world – which does no good if hidden under a bushel.  You’re not sharing your faith to be “in your face” to anyone – you’re sharing your faith because that’s what our faith demands of you._

God is going to give us all sorts of chances to witness to him in our daily life – we just have to be ready to notice them, and to get the heck out of God’s way, and let God do the talking.

My goal for this Lent?  Drop some of those inhibitions – and let God work through me.  Be the instrument I was created for.  I’ll definitely need your prayers for this one…

When it comes to “You’re only Catholic because you were raised that way,” I can usually respond intelligently with a discussion about human development and nature vs. nurture. When it comes to “You’re only Catholic because you’re afraid to go to hell,” I have no problem calmly explaining the bigger picture (Love) that they’re missing.

However, when it comes to the subject of this post:

You’re only Catholic because you don’t know how to think critically.

…or any of it’s cousins including “because you aren’t educated”, “because you just don’t know better” or “because you’ve never bothered to think for yourself,” I have a hard time keeping my calm, cool, and reasonable demeanor and start seeing red.

What I felt like doing after recently reading this line on my Facebook wall.

You see, I’m actually a very well-educated individual, and that education was not “sheltered.” Yes, I did attend Catholic school for Elementary and High School (Middle School was public), but then I went to a public university where I majored in English and minored in Spanish and…wait for it…Religious Studies.

Now let’s make a quick, but important distinction here between Religious Studies and Theology (which is often the religion major offered at Catholic and Christian universities). Theology is the study of God; at a Christian university, this is the study of God from the Christian perspective and through the Christian lens. Religious Studies, on the other hand, is the study of religion – many, many, many religions. It looks at religion from the perspective of an outsider – as opposed to theology which looks at God from inside the Christian worldview.

My background gave me an understanding of how to examine religion from the outside…but I also in the insider’s view of theology as evidenced by my graduate degree from the Loyola University (a Catholic institution). I can look at religion, God, doctrine, dogma, ritual and sacrament from both inside the Christian perspective and from the perspective of many other religions – or no religion (because athiesm in the United States is it’s own religion).

Oh yes, this is a real thing.

In my Religious Studies courses I studied many major religions including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. I also studied many of the more minor religions including Scientology, the Raelian Movement, Satanism, Wicca, Navajo religion, Jehova’s Witness, Baha’i and even the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I took a course that outlines the difference between a religion and a cult and studies some of the significant cults of the United States. I also took a few courses on the history of religion including the ancient near eastern religions.

This means that I know all about the similarities between Horus, Isis, Osirius and Jesus, Mary and God. It means I know that ancient near eastern pagan religions included “eating the god” rituals thousands of years before The Last Supper. It means that I have explored the potential benefits of the 8 pillars of Islam in depth and chosen what about Judaism I can accept (a great mystic tradition, monotheism, and the cycle of sin and redemption throughout the Hebrew Scriptures) and what about the Raelian Movement I reject (pretty much everything).

Raelians believe in aliens and topless women (according to Google image search). Pictured here: Not Faithful Raelian women

Of course, it’s not just the Religious Studies background that I feel like I so greatly need to defend when I face the “You’re only Catholic because you’re uneducated” crowd. My extensive background in literature and theories of literary criticism mean I know how to think critically. I’m fairly certain Dr. Klemp would be personally offended and may leave teaching altogether if I had managed to survive 5 college courses with him unable to think for myself!

To claim that I could have studied these topics so extensively and still somehow be “fooling myself” or “not really thinking rationally” is an insult not only to me, but also to those professors who taught me how to think for myself and to the classmates with whom I debated extensively on these topics.

See, here’s the great thing about the wonderful education I received (and will be paying for a long time to come on a church employee’s salary!). It taught me how to think for myself, how to apply critical thinking and analysis techniques to any worldview, how to recognize the ways my own personal bias affects my thinking, and how to put on different lenses through which to see the world.

But here’s the rub…this also means that I’ve thought critically enough to see the flaws in the objectivist worldview that you (imaginary person with whom I am once again arguing) see the world. It means that the lessons about metacognition (thinking about thinking) that my education provided were the same lessons that helped me to reject the anti-religious bias that some of those same professors not-so-subtly included in their lectures and grading.

See, I’ve explored other religions – even felt the draw of the ritual and otherworldliness of religions many Catholics fear (like Wicca) – but ultimately, the things I found appealing about those religions (like mysticism that encourages us to get in touch with invisible realities) or seemed to make the most sense (like ritual that reminds us our bodies speak a language) or even met all of my critera for logical doctrine (like the idea that there is something that connects all living things) – see, the Catholic Church already offers all of those. Every time I encountered a religion that had something I agreed with or something that made sense, I also encountered something that didn’t – except with Catholicism.

What?! Yeah, many people find it shocking when I say that I agree with Catholicism – whole part and parcel – the whole gig. I’ve yet to find something found within the truths held by this religion that I don’t agree with…once I bothered to put my critical thinking cap on and seek out the reasons behind the rituals, teachings, and dogmas.

See, in my experience, the people who use this argument against religion are usually the ones rejecting some of their critical thinking training. They take a few isolated incidents of people who did bad things in the name of the religion and paint the whole religion with the same brush. They reject teachings that might challenge them to change the way they live (like the Church’s teachings on subsidiarity or contraception) without bothering to research and examine the reasons behind those teachings.

Perfect time for a little pro-Catholic propoganda I think. Turns out there’s more to the Catholic Church than scandal and war…something only people who decide to think for themselves rather than simply buying the media spin might discover:

So (here’s me talking to an imaginary person again), how about we keep the insults to a minimum and examine this together? I’d be happy to meet you on a logical and rational field of educated minds and really discuss what it is that so attracted me to Catholicism.

And for all of those who do agree with me – I ask of you 2 things.

1. Please pray for me – that I can respond in love and out of love when confronted with those who use ridicule and insults as their primary methods of debate, and
2. Please join me in gently correcting all these people who make faulty assumptions about why we choose this faith by living our faith (and the reasons behind it) more publicly.

The more often we share our faith in the manner it can be received by our audience, the less often we will encounter these misconceptions. Instead, the conversation can change from “You’re only Catholic because…” to “I know you’ve said you’re Catholic because….I’d like to learn more about that.”

Any thoughts? How can you better witness to the reasons behind your faith? Better yet…how about a little Catholic love fest in the comment section here – why are YOU Catholic?

Ah, The Far Side does it again!

If you don’t know me, ask anyone who knows me – those two statements are pretty accurate.  Or, you could just read a blog or two of mine.  I’m not exactly timid.

I am comfortable and happy with who God has made me to be thus far.  When I was young, though, I went through many years of wishing and trying to be someone else.  I was trying to come to terms with who I was and how that would work in the world.  I didn’t understand that God didn’t make me “wrong” or that I wasn’t less than other people.  Thankfully, I got over all that and am generally pleased with the outcome.

For the most part.

Being a “bulldozer” or a “lioness” (or, as some would say, a “strong personality”) is certainly useful and good.  A bulldozer is strong, can get things done, and prepares the land to be worked on.  A lioness is tough, protective and a leader.  But, when I’m not careful, my bulldozer plows through without being careful or runs over smaller things.  The lioness roars a little too loud or attacks mercilessly.

Is this really me?

It’s so great that God gave us the personalities He gave us.  We need lots of different gifts and talents and perspectives in the world in order to get things done.  But, sometimes we take for granted or misuse the goodness our personality traits.

So, the challenge is to take some time to understand ourselves, to be self-reflective.  What are the positive elements of my personality and how can I best serve my family, friends, work, Church with those gifts and talents?  What are the negative traits that I may let run wild or use as a scape-goat for my shortcomings?  How can I reign them in?

Whether you’re a lion or a lamb, a thorn or a rose, spicy or sweet, I thank God for you.  If God didn’t make all kinds of different personalities, we wouldn’t have a very interesting world, now would we?

This morning as I was getting ready, I accidently sprayed one spray more cologne than normal and I suddenly became super worried, that for at least today, I was going to be that guy. I was going to be the stinky cologne guy.  In fact, not only was I worried I was going to be outrageously odiferous, but I began to fret about an even worse fate – no one would tell me.  The only thing worse that not being self aware about some personal fault, would be not having anyone in my life willing to tell me, warn me, correct me.  What if I went through life and no one tried to help me by calling me out.  As I write this I am beginning to worry that maybe I AM cologne guy every day and no one is telling me. Quick, smell your computer screen and tell me if my blog smells too strong. (Man, I hope you didn’t actually do that.)  I digress.

Maybe there are people in my life who I should be challenging, warning, correcting.  I don’t mean about the cologne thing (though maybe that too); I mean about important things.  I think there is something truly holy and good about helping out our friends and neighbors by inviting them to change.  If that is true, then we need to figure out a way to challenge our friends without offending and alienating them.

Being called out is hard. No one likes to be told they are falling short or outright screwing up.  This is why people react so crazy to being invited to admit fault and confess sins – they don’t like to be wrong.  People don’t get too crazy about being told about spinach in their teeth or static electricity mucking up an outfit, but when we start to get into the realm of personal behavior people tend to freak out when corrected.

I don’t have a good answer. I don’t know how to do this personally, and I am not sure how to do this communally/institutionally.  What I do know is that at the end of the day the only valid and appropriate motivation is love.  The only reason we can ever call someone out is because we love them, and we want them to be happy, healthy, and holy.  Anything other than that is self-righteous judgment which stinks worse than cologne guy.

The Cast of "Modern Family"

I admit it.  I’m a bit of a TV junkie.  I am.  I just really like TV.  There’s so many interesting and entertaining shows to choose from.

Though I probably know more about what’s on HGTV, Food Network, Travel Channel, and Nick Jr. than a normal person should, I don’t just enjoy shows that are on the science and learning (or kids!) channels.  I also enjoy a lot of the sitcoms and a few dramas on network television.  One of the shows we enjoy in our house is Modern Family.

Now, if you’ve never seen Modern Family, here it is in a nutshell – a comedy about the interactions of 3 related family units.  Here’s the family tree for the show:

Jay is the father of adult children Claire and Mitchell.  Jay is older and divorced.  He remarried a younger, beautiful Columbian woman named Gloria.  Gloria has a son from a previous relationship named Manny.  Claire is married to Phil and they have 3 middle school – high school aged children.  Mitchell is married to Cam (another man) and they have an adopted child from China named Lilly.  Did you follow all that?

Many of my good, Catholic friends and family members refuse to watch this show because it depicts a homosexual couple who have adopted a child.  People have argued with me that if you are watching a show with such elements, you are promoting homosexual “marriages” and are defying the Church’s teachings.

First of all, let’s get one thing straight – I stand with and 100% believe in the teachings of the Catholic church.  But, I don’t believe that I am “condoning” same-sex marriages by watching a TV show about family that includes this type of family in it.

Despite the controversial dynamics, the show, is, actually about a family that loves and supports each other through all kinds of trials and hijinks (something not actually seen in a lot of other shows out there).  It shows parents loving their children (young and adults) and children realizing that their parents are actually not complete fools.

But, the point of this blog is not to convince you to watch the show.  It is, however, about some of the questions that have been raised for me as a result of watching this show.  I’m a person of faith living in today’s “modern” society and I am doing my best to raise a child in this world, too.

Not all families are “perfect”
We have to come to terms with it – families with two dads or two moms are a real part of our society.  In fact, more people are choosing this lifestyle and even being in committed, monogamous relationships than many conservatives want to accept.  And, when I say “committed and monogamous”, I mean people who are together as long and longer than many married couples.  They might be in your own family, your parish, or your school.  You may not know them, but they are there.

It’s a reality that a “modern” family may have members that are not living in a way that makes sense to others in their extended family or that is recognized by the Church (or, most states, for that matter), but they are still functioning as a family unit.

And, as followers of Christ, we are called to love these people as much as we love “normal” families.  As we often say, we are called to “love the sinner, hate the sin.”  We may not approve of their lifestyle, but it’s not our place to pass judgement on their eternal soul or discriminate against them.  We have to recognize and accept that we will, if we haven’t already, encounter family units that are different than ours.

Mitchell, Cam, and adopted daughter Lilly

What about the children?
Inevitably, as a result of this new, modern family emerging where there are two same-sex parents, there are children involved.  Some are adopted, some are conceived via surrogacy and others via artificial insemination.  Apart from adoption, these are obviously means that we, as Catholics, cannot support as options for bringing children into this world.

However, if children are conceived and born as a result of these methods, they need to be loved and welcomed as much as any other child.  God has still allowed life to happen.

And, what about the adopted children?  Isn’t it better for them to be welcomed into the arms of loving parents, same-sex or not, versus being left in some sort of government system or abandoned altogether?

I know that we, as Catholics, recognize that it’s not ideal for a child to miss out on the balance of a mother AND father in their lives.  But, that issue arises anyways, when parents divorce and a child lives with one or the other.  Or, if one of the parents has some sort of issue or addiction that is detrimental to the family and keeps them from fulfilling their role as mother or father appropriately.

So, is it really worse for a child to be born into or adopted by a loving family that wants and loves them, even if it’s headed up by two fathers or two mothers?

(I honestly don’t know the answer to these questions.  Maybe a priest or person who is better educated in the faith than I am can clarify the Church’s stance on homosexual relationships and children.)

I guess what it comes down to, for me, is reality.  I can’t control who my children will go to school with kids and I have no doubt they will probably end up with friends who come from a “non-traditional” home.  And, as they grow up, they will probably come home with questions about these families or invitations to birthday parties in those homes. Am I prepared to field those questions and give the best, most Christ-centered answers in order to raise a child who is respectful and loving, but understanding of the Church’s teachings?

For me, the plan is this: begin praying and seeking guidance now on the best ways to raise my traditional family in a modern world.

Yes, this is more about my running.  But more than about my running.  When I run, I am praying.  Every morning, within my first few steps, I am giving God that run, that morning, that day… my life.

The view at my 10-mile race last Saturday (from Checkers AC pictures of the race)

And it’s while I’m running – it’s when I’m not plugged in, when I’m not changing a diaper, when I’m not keeping sisters from arguing or dealing with the myriad of issues (both real and imagined) the high schoolers deal with – that I hear God most clearly.  All of the best retreats I’ve planned have come to me while running.  All of my best days are days with good runs.  (And yet, any day with a bad run is still better than a day with no run.)

So, while I’m out there running, I’m out there sweating.  It is through that sweating – through that pushing myself – through that challenging – through that daily morning routine that I open myself up.  As Berry Simpson in “Running with God” tell us:

“Sweat is the currency of runners.  We use it to make daily payments towards our dreams and goals. …At the finish of any race, you’ll find runners who have paid the price in full, their sweat-drenched bodies glistening in the sun, their once pained muscles now happy. Sweat is universal. Sweat is honorable. Sweat is worthwhile.”

While I’m out there sweating, I’m not just running, I’m not just working towards my goals – I am open to being moved by the Ultimate Mover.  I am beginning my day the best way I know how – with my run & my prayer combined – and at the same time, I am listening.

Sure, I’m dodging distracted drivers (no more make-up while moving – save it for the stoplights – and please, before you turn right, look right because that’s where pedestrians are supposed to be), I’m jumping over potholes, I’m trying not to give the death face, and I’m pushing my limits.

But most of all, while I’m running, I’m listening.  To the clarity, the peace, the truth, the inspiration and the challenge that my Creator is placing on my heart for that day.

I definitely don’t believe that running is what everyone should be doing.  As Dr. George Sheehan always said “Find your own play, your own self-renewing compulsion, and you will become the person you are meant to be.”

Running is my movement – it is my get up and go activity each day.  It is in that time that I am moved by Christ, who gave me that ability to get up and go.  Running both moves me, and it opens me up to be moved by our creator.  I pray that you allow yourself to move, and to be moved by Christ.

The majority of Catholics don’t exactly share my sentiments about Lent.  We generally have childhood memories of cheese pizzas and mac & cheese on Friday nights (or, as with our house, orange roughey or tuna).  We remember somber days, going to Stations of the Cross, venerating the Cross and extra long Palm Sunday Masses.

My most vivid Lent memory from childhood was the hardcore parental move of NO TV for all 6 weeks of Lent.  Yup, all of it, including Sundays.  I don’t know how my parents didn’t go nuts with us 5 kids and all our “boredom.”

These memories and many more of this most sacred time of the Catholic year have all compiled to help me to love Lent as an adult.  I realize that it’s the culmination of everything that we believe as Christians.  It’s the purpose of our faith and the reason we have hope – because Christ loved us to the point of death and that that death wasn’t the end of the story.

How can we even begin to say “thank you” for the incredible gift of salvation?

By making a gift of ourselves to the Lord throughout Lent.  By preparing our hearts and minds to fully experience the Passion, Death, and Resurrection and rejoicing with the greatest joy on Easter.

  Now is a great time to begin thinking about what we can do to make this Lent meaningful to our spiritual lives.  Here’s a few general ideas of things you might consider doing to make the most of Lent this year…



(1) Give something up.

This is what most Catholics think Lent is all about – giving something up.  And, that’s all well and good as long as what we are giving up is actually something we would miss.  I once had a wise professor, Dr. Regis Martin, who said, “My father used to give up watermelons every year for Lent.  He hated the damn things.”

What’s the point of giving up something that you won’t really miss anyways?  That is no sacrifice.  You must really face the thing that you struggle to say “no” to.  It could be TV, Facebook, cokes (that’s me!), beer, meat, shopping, texting, etc.  Whatever is our big vice, we should consider offering it up this Lent.

(2) Commit to prayer.
Hopefully, prayer is something that you do everyday anyways.  But, in order to deepen prayer, we have to push ourselves into a new and different practice of prayer.  Perhaps it’s doing the St. Louis de Montfort Consecration to Mary.  Maybe it’s praying a daily rosary.  Or, trying to get to daily Mass or at least Mass some other day in the week besides Sunday.  What about going to the Stations of the Cross every week?  Try to think of  actions that can make your prayer life new, different, and maybe even a little challenging.

Characters of the Passion

(3) Do some spiritual reading everyday.
Instead of reading a novel or blogs or magazines, why not substitute these with something that would help you focus on your spiritual well-being?  Or, even better, focus on Lent?  Here’s a few suggestions:

*Show Me the Way: Daily Lenten Readings (Henri J. Nouwen)
*Characters of the Passion (Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen)

*The Lamb’s Supper (Scott Hahn)
*Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week: From the Entrance into Jerusalem to the Resurrection (Pope Benedict XVI)

(4) Work on changing habits.

What better way to show our love for the Lord than by dying to self a little bit and trying to break the habits that we are very comfortable with?  This might be the most difficult sacrifice for most of us because we often don’t even notice our bad habits.  Things like speeding, being negative, talking too much, spending money needlessly, overeating, complaining, being lazy.  Can we rid ourselves of some of the most selfish actions we do without thinking about them?

Though these are mostly things we should be trying to do all the time in our lives, sometimes we need a “reason” to do them.  And, what better reason to get ourselves in gear, recommit to being the best versions of ourselves, and focus on our God than Lent?

So, one week and counting until Ash Wednesday.  What’s it gonna be?

Some of those conversations have been openly hostile, others have been vaguely mocking, and a few have been even curious, but there’s one thing they all have in common.  They all have made (faulty) assumptions about why I am a Catholic.

So, I’m here to set the record straight…

You’re Only Catholic Because You’re Afraid You’re Going to Hell

This is a pretty common argument from those who reject religion outright.  Here is one example from a discussion with an old college coworker (who at least at that time was a self-professed Satanist) on his blog:

The Catholic Church holds itself as the moral standard bearer for the world because it gains its authority from the divine. These rules are not up for a vote or appeal. If its rules are not followed, the sinner is punished in the afterlife. This is coercion not unlike someone giving orders at gunpoint. It negates the possibility of free will.

Or this comment on one of my Facebook posts by a really close friend.  We usually avoid religious discussions, and though he likes to poke fun and provoke me, it’s all in respect and love (I hope).

Well I was going to get a vasectomy but knowing the Church is against it and that Jesus won’t let me into the kingdom of heaven if I do, I’m just going to abstain going forward!

It’s a pretty common argument that assumes that the reason I follow the Church’s teachings or even believe at all is based on my fear of eternal consequences if I don’t.

Just like the “You’re Only Catholic Because You Were Raised That Way” argument, this assumption has some basis in truth, but is missing a much bigger picture.  In honor of Valentine’s Day, here’s an analogy that explains that bigger picture…

I love my husband very much.  We’ve been married for 8+ years and while it hasn’t always been a Hallmark commercial, I can’t imagine walking this journey of life without him at my side.  There are times when I disagree with him (usually loudly and vehemently), but the commitment we have made to one another in love is greater than even our most outrageous arguments.  It is that commitment and love that has me biting my tongue when I want to yell at him (though if you ask him he may question whether or not said tongue biting has ever happened!).  It is that commitment and love that helps me submit to his requests that I please stop going to Starbucks 3 times a week (mmmm….white chocolate mocha).  It is that commitment and love that reminds me to make the bed each morning – just because it’s something he likes (I never see the point – it’s just going to get unmade again at the end of the day…seems like a waste of time).

My husband and I...living our sacrament.

I don’t treat my husband with love and kindness, listen to and submit to his requests, and sometimes keep my disagreements to myself just because I’m afraid of the consequences.  I do it because I love him.  I lived in a relationship in college in which everything I did was based on fear of him breaking up with me.  I changed who I was, what I did and always walked on egg shells because I was petrified he might end our relationship.  It lasted exactly 3 months – because that kind of fear cannot sustain a real relationship.

Upon further reflection, I have realized there were many disturbing implications to his suggestion..

Well, that and when he ultimately broke up with me he told me that he thought I had a lot of growing up to do – he thought we should remain friends so that he could be my Jedi Master and I could be his young Padawan learner.  His breakup line reminded me of the time he told me that dancing with him was like when his grandma used to give him a warm glass of milk when he couldn’t sleep, and I decided the end of this relationship wasn’t something to mourn

I digress – my point is that my relationship with the Church is the same as my relationship with my husband. I follow Her rules, submit to Her teachings, try to understand when I disagree, and engage in Her rituals and sacraments out of love, not fear.  I love Christ and want a relationship with Him and His Church.  I just can’t imagine walking through this journey of life without my faith underscoring it all.

Now here’s where the bit of truth in this assumption comes in…if I were to treat my husband like crap, constantly argue and pick fights with him, disobey his every request and never reach out in love or kindness, there’s a good chance we would end up divorced.  If I choose to reject Christ and the teachings of His Church, if I never spend time developing my relationship with Him and constantly berate and blaspheme Him…well, there’s a good chance I may end up in Hell.  But this not what motivates me in my faith; if it were, I’m certain our relationship would not have survived all the struggles, heartache, and obstacles of the past 31 years.

...but fear will always fail

So to my husband, to my Savior and to my Church…Happy Valentine’s Day.  I love you and can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.

Up Next…If You’re Catholic, You’re Uneducated, Delusional, Unenlightened, ___________ (Fill In the Blank)