Choosing the name for a child is, in my opinion, sort of a big deal. When we were thinking about what we wanted to name our son (our first), I got really stressed about it. What if we choose the wrong name? What if it seems fine, but then once we get home and start using it, we hate it?
This is how your child who then becomes a youth then a teen, young adult, and then adult will be identified FOREVER.
A name can say so much about you and can end up defining parts of your life based on how it is used or nicknamed. You’re stuck with it (at least until your 18) and you can’t do anything about it.
Yeah, no pressure.
Yet, here we are, playing the name game again with our 2nd child, a little girl.
In my family, we have a tradition unintentionally started by my sister who had the first grandbaby to not reveal the name we choose until the baby is born. This is a good thing for a couple of reasons.
First of all, so far, we’ve all found out the gender of our babies. So, keeping the name quiet until birth gives everyone something to look forward to and speculate on.
Secondly, people keep their opinions on what you should name your new child (mostly) to themselves. Yes, people might give some input or make suggestions, but we will just say “oh, that’s a nice one” or “I like that, too”, but it really doesn’t reveal anything and adds to the mystery.
Finally, no one can give their opinions on whether they like or dislike the name you’ve chosen, which keeps us from questioning and second-guessing if we’ve made a good decision or not.
Plus, once the baby is born and people are meeting him/her for the first time, no one’s going to be like “Ick, what a terrible name!” They will say, “Oh, what a precious little baby.” They may hate the name and say so when they walk out of the room or when you aren’t around, but then you don’t hear it and, thus, don’t have to worry about it.
It’s a good thing my family has this tradition, though, because my husband and I pretty much take the entire 9 months to agree on what we should name our child. Like most women, I’ve had a list of names of girls and boys that I’ve had ever since at least high school. Names have come and gone off that list, but there have always been a few that ranked near the top – the names I’ve always pretty much hoped to use someday. These are the names I feel strongly about.
My husband, on the other hand, never really started thinking about childrens‘ names until we got a positive pregnancy test. And, even with that, he doesn’t REALLY begin to consider name choices until we find out the gender. Furthermore, once he starts “thinking” about the names, he doesn’t really have top contenders. He just waits for me to make suggestions and then says “yes, I like that one” or “no, never”.
Seems like an easy task from that point on, right? I just say a name, he says “yes” or “no” and then we choose.
“Well, we can’t use THAT saint name because, even though it’s a great saint, the name would sound ridiculous attached to a tiny baby girl.”
“I don’t care if it’s a family name, I can’t stand it and have no intention of ever using it.”
“I know about 6 people who’ve named their daughter that recently.”
“Too many syllables.” (Oh, yes, my husband has used that one.)
“If we name her something that means ‘firey’, we might be setting ourselves up for some trouble in the future.”
“How do you even spell that? Would she spend her life correcting how people spell her name?”
“Ugh, those initials would be D.I.M. Is that what we want to do to our daughter?”
I guess it’s a good thing that we have 9 months to decide on a name. We were literally on the way to the hospital at 2 am for my son’s birth when I said to my husband, “So, are we 100% agreed on this name? NOW would be a good time to finalize that.”
We love our little girl already and want to make sure her name suits her. We enjoy hearing people’s suggestions (and, might even consider a few!). But, don’t ask us what this little girl will be named because, at this point, it’s not even about keeping it a secret. We really have no idea.
I’ll let you know in 3 months.