I am 23+ weeks into my pregnancy with our happy surprise Baby #3 (a little girl). When I say she is a “surprise”, I mean just that. We are people who use NFP regularly and though we are pro-life and thus always ready to accept a new little life as God sees fit to give it, we weren’t purposefully trying to get pregnant with this little one (as we were with our other two). So, when, that 2nd little line showed up on a pregnancy test last fall, surprised is the best word to describe my reaction.
When it took 14 months to get pregnant with my first child, I learned quickly that God alone is the author of Life and only HE knows when it is best for a person or family to have a baby. Sometimes our will and His will line up (we were trying for a 2nd child and God deemed it to be the right time and we got pregnant quickly). Other times, it’s challenging to understand why God is or isn’t allowing a pregnancy to happen.
I have never once take for granted the gift of this new little life within me when I know so many people who would give anything to get pregnant and I am so thrilled to be having another little girl. But, from my limited perspective, I wouldn’t have chosen right now to be pregnant again!
Our family has been in a difficult place financially for quite some time. We are in constant prayer – asking God for an avenue to a new, better job for my husband; wondering why God would’ve chosen now to bless us with another child when it seems completely contrary to what we seem to be able to afford.
“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He delivered them out of their distresses.” (Ps. 107:6)
However, besides finding great joy in the prospect of another tiny little life entering our home and making our family more complete, I have also learned what true peace and complete trust in the Lord really looks like. I’ve learned that God does, 100% provide for us according to our needs.
Our needs. He provides for our needs. Right now, He’s not giving us excess or abundance to the point that we have plenty to spare or share with others. He’s making sure we have enough, week to week and month to month to take care of what needs to be taken care of. We haven’t gone hungry. We haven’t been naked. We haven’t lost our home. Sure, we can’t buy lots of extra things or go on vacations or get new boots “just because” right now. But, He’s allowing us to understand what it is we really need to get by.
He’s often provided for our needs financially through the unexpected and completely humbling generosity of amazing family and friends. I’ve experienced, first hand, what it feels like to be grateful to the point of crying because someone loved us so much that they helped us, without being asked and without seeking anything in return. I’ve learned through my family and friends that I am truly blessed beyond measure and that God WILL absolutely supply our needs if we “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding.” (Provb. 3:5)
There are days when I worry myself into a tizzy. There are days when my prayers are not quiet, gentle prayers of “I trust in you Lord and I know you will take care of us”, but sound more like a child throwing a tantrum because she isn’t getting her way. But, it’s when I remember the moments during the past several months when the Lord has provided for us in unexpected ways that I am given back true peace, that I am reminded:
“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven…He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.” (Eccl. 3:1, 11)
I don’t understand why God would’ve chosen now for us to bring another child into our family and why other people, who would give anything and everything to have a little one come into their homes, are not receiving that same blessing. I don’t pretend to understand the mind of God and why He does or does not do certain things (and, why WOULD I want to know that??).
But, I do absolutely, 100% know this – God provides for whatever the season or situation our life is currently in. He does. He always will. He is a good and loving God, a generous Father. And, me and my family? We’re not special. We’re just regular folks, trying to make it in this crazy world by sticking close to our Lord. So, if He provides for us, how much more will He provide for you, too??