Author: chriskmn

I cry at movies.

Posted on by chriskmn

I cry at movies. Sometimes I think this is totally understandable. At the end of Saving Private Ryan, I sobbed as big fat tears fell down my face. I couldn’t stop thinking about men who had maybe died so my grandfathers could come home. I know, I’m a of bit of a wreck in this way, but I can’t help it, I’m an emotional guy.

I cry at a lot of movies, but no movie makes me cry like Field of Dreams. I played a little baseball in high school and so that whole baseball theme has a lot of emotional energy for me. (“Emotional energy”? What a pansy thing to write. What is wrong with me? Sorry. Moving on.) The part when Moonlight Graham steps off the field to save the little girl from choking and you know that he can’t go back; he can’t go back to his dream of playing baseball – wow. Almost crying just writing about it.Ray meets his Dad Field of Dreams

The real movement from normal human to puddle of tears, uncontrollable cry snot, and quick breaths between sobs comes when Ray’s dad comes to the field to play and Ray says, “Hey dad, how about a catch?” Niagara Falls. I was concerned I may have some unresolved father issues (Dad, if you are reading this, I’m sure it’s nothing), but the more I thought about it they were tears of thanksgiving for a dad that I did get to play catch with, a lot. I had a great father who coached my baseball teams, but also helped with homework and took me to church and watched Holy Grail with me despite my mother’s protests.

Yesterday when I cried watching Tangled, Disney’s revamp of Rapunzel, I had a bit of an epiphany (I know, I had an epiphany while watching the movie Tangled, I’ll take epiphanies where I can get them). Read More

This, this is real.

Posted on by chriskmn

If I close my eyes, I can see his face as he says these words, “They will tell you, ‘Just wait till you get back to the real world.’ But I am here to say you have been living in the real world. This, this is real.”  It was the last night of a amazing week-long mission trip with a tremendous group of people. It was heaven. My friend Kris Walters was giving what professional youth ministers sometimes call the “go” talk. It was the talk that was supposed to inspire us to leave the mission trip and literally “go” back to our worlds without going back to they way we used to live. It was a call to conversion. It was motivational. It was a push out of the nest.

And Kris’ was the best “go” talk I have ever heard. He was saying that though the world we are returning to is broken, fallen, imperfect, that doesn’t make it more “real.” Living in a loving, supportive, and fun community full of people who really do love God and actually pray is as much a possibility for our world as is the dark and despairing evening news.  In other words, “The time has come. The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe in the Good News” (Mark 1:15).

I believe in the Good News.  And because I believe, my understanding of what is “real” has changed so much.  Yeah, my kids still barf in my bed when they are sick.  I still say the wrong things all the time. People I love still die, and despite my best efforts, I am a selfish jerk.

I try to the best of my ability to see reality through my faith. I mostly fall short, but when I am able to do this, I realize how blessed and lucky I am.  C. S. Lewis says it like this;

I believe in God as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

I am trying to see the real world through my Catholic faith, and selfishly, I am writing to get better at this.  I am reading the other entries on this blog to find out what is real for my friends and how their faith is helping them see the kingdom of God. Hopefully we will have a few laughs along the way (maybe nothing more real than that).

At the end of the day I tell God I am sorry, I thank him for the abundant outpouring of blessings in my life, and I ask that he grant me the grace to be a better husband, father, friend and youth minister.  This is my real, and it is good news.