To be brutally honest, I’ve been feeling very worn down lately. Numerous things have happened in my life that have left me feeling a bit more broken than usual, and I had really come to the conclusion that I am under attack. I was already feeling this way when a priest said to me “In your line of work, and with what you’re doing, you are going to be under attack.” He went on though, “You need to do everything you can to be protecting yourself, spiritually.”
And the St. Michael Prayer has been readily on my lips and in my heart lately. If you’re not familiar with it, here ya go:
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle;
be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:
and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
It’s a daily prayer for protection and for knowing and embracing that this decision to live for Christ will come with struggles and challenges, and that we are targets. We need help to endure – and lately, I’ve been feeling the need for more help than usual.
I’m blessed to work for Life Teen, a Catholic organization that calls for the entire staff to share in a Holy Hour every week at an appointed time. This week during holy hour, I was lead to reading some of Paul’s writing to the Corinthians. And I was drawn to praying over 1:25 – For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. (1 Cor 1:25) I read further, but I kept being drawn back to that.
Though I may seem worm out, and though it may seem harder than ever to live for more than ourselves, I need to embrace the weakness that God is giving to me. Because in that weakness, God’s strength is all the more evident. That it seems especially difficult to live out this call to, but I am called to rely on Christ more and more and more.
Maybe I am under attack. Maybe it is Christ teaching me that I need to rely on him even more than I already tried to.
I think it’s both – that in these attacks, I need to fully embrace that I am not strong enough to overcome alone. But if I embrace this reliance on Christ – if I allow God to be God, His strength will come through more than I’ve imagined.