Preparing the Inn

(NOTE: This is actually an article I wrote for our church bulletin way back in 2007.  I really have been wanting to get a blog together, but with a newborn baby and a toddler filling up my life, and my hands, I have been having a hard time finding the time, finger-freedom, and, heck, brain cells to write anything!  Though it’s a few years old, it’s still applies to THIS Advent.  Please enjoy!)

My family doesn’t hail from the deep South originally.  Though we have lived here 30 years or so, neither of my parents nor the oldest 3 of the 5 were born in Alabama.  Consequently, pretty much all of our relatives are located in the Northeast – where it snows and is cold in December!  Because of the long distance, it was rare in our early lives that we got to spend Christmas with the extended family.

Totally not us...

Totally not us…

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The Changing of the Seasons

It’s often considered “the most wonderful time of the year.”  To many people, even more wonderful than the ACTUAL “most wonderful time of the year” (the birth of Our Lord and Savior).

It’s the changing of the seasons.  And, no.  I’m not talking about the weather-related changes from the warmth and sun of the summer to the coolness and colors of the fall.

Supporting a team while keeping things in perspective

No, I’m talking about the changing of the sports seasons from baseball to football.  Or, as most people understand it in my state, from “not football season” to “football, y’all.”

It’s hard not to love football when you’ve spent your entire life living in the greatest conference of the NCAA and having your entire society revolve around one of the greatest team rivalries in college football.  Some might even argue that this is, in f act, the greatest state FOR college football (at least, in the past decade or so).



(NOTE:  I’m not saying that it IS the greatest state for it, I’m saying that many in this state might argue such.  So, anyone from Texas, Buckeyes, Californians, Sooners, and whoever else disagrees need not send me hate mail or comments touting your state’s glories.  I know there’s lots of great college states out there.)



Anyways, I have to admit that, yes, i DO in fact love football season.  Maybe it is because of the changing temperatures and getting to break out my jeans again.  Maybe it’s the beat of a drum line on a Friday night, echoing across high school campuses.  Maybe it’s the tailgating, wearing your team’s colors, and uniting with fans of the same team, even if you don’t know each other. Read More

The Baby Name Game

Choosing the name for a child is, in my opinion, sort of a big deal.  When we were thinking about what we wanted to name our son (our first), I got really stressed about it. What if we choose the wrong name?  What if it seems fine, but then once we get home and start using it, we hate it?

This is how your child who then becomes a youth then a teen, young adult, and then adult will be identified FOREVER.

FOR.EV.ER.

I want to be friends with this person.

A name can say so much about you and can end up defining parts of your life based on how it is used or nicknamed.  You’re stuck with it (at least until your 18) and you can’t do anything about it.



Yeah, no pressure.



Yet, here we are, playing the name game again with our 2nd child, a little girl.

In my family, we have a tradition unintentionally started by my sister who had the first grandbaby to not reveal the name we choose until the baby is born.  This is a good thing for a couple of reasons. Read More

Confession: I Miss THEM.

Who thought I would ever miss them?

You know who I am talking about – those people who annoy the crap out of you because  they are messing around in Target while you are trying to grocery shop with your toddler…the ones who cut you off in traffic or speed past you when you’re trying to change lanes because they really don’t know how to drive yet…the folks who clog up your newsfeed with 8 million pictures of themselves and their friends making a variety of faces in pictures together… Read More

Missing: Part of My Identity

This morning was one of the strangest Monday mornings I’ve had in a long time.

I woke up this morning, got my son all settled into breakfast and his morning routine, and then I walked to my computer to check my e-mail and make my weekly “to do list” for work.

And then, realized that there is no longer a need for a “work to-do list” because I am officially retired from youth ministry and am entering into my “stay at home mom” years.

I’ve been praying about, waiting for, and counting down to this day for a couple of years.  I knew it was coming, but it always seemed like it was out there on the horizon – something to talk about and wait for, but nothing that would actually happen.

And, now that it’s upon me, I’m not sure how I feel.  Happy, a little sad, nostalgic, free, excited, overwhelmed with the rest of my life.  But, the biggest emotion that is surprising me is something I can’t put a word on…confused?  lost?  useless? Read More

My Final Youth Ministry Trip

I just returned from my final youth group trip.  And, boy did I pick a doozy to be the last chapter in my tenure as youth minister.  It was a mission trip…that was the longest trip we’ve done…and, it had some interesting challenges to it.

Here’s the thing – it’s a mission trip.  If you don’t know what being on “mission” means, you need to do some research before you commit to going.  I am not saying I don’t know – I’ve been on mission before.  But, in case you haven’t, here are some things you should expect.
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Catholic Review of “Downton Abbey”

As you know from earlier blogs, my husband and I are fans of TV.  We take advantage of programming on many channels AND the incredible invention of the DVR (does anyone still watch commercials?).  Now, it’s not like we watch TV all day, everyday.  It’s just our preferred way of vegging in the evenings after our son goes to bed.

As our regular fall and spring shows round out for the season, we get into the summer time lull of very few options at night.  So, we take to watching series off of Netflix or movies more regularly.  And, we take recommendations from friends and family, too.

Well, I have to give credit to our recent favorite show to my sister and brother-in-law, who recommended in several months ago, my mom (who, thankfully owns the Season 2 DVD), and a couple of friends who finally pushed us over the edge and assured us that it was worth the watch.
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A Hidden Life

There was a time in my life when I thought I wanted to be famous.  Well, maybe not famous, but at least notable.  When we took the Meyers-Briggs personality test in high school and college, I would undoubtedly always get the “Extrovert” E.  I used to love meeting as many people as possible, being included in major events, going to parties where there would be lots of people, making an impression.

As I got older and began my career in ministry, I thought it would be great to become a public speaker.  Maybe not be on a major circuit, but at least on a minor one where I got to travel and meet lots of people and be a recognizable name.  I wanted people calling me because they were so impressed with my public speaking skills.

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We Haven’t Forgotten You, We Promise!

Dear Loyal Readers,

Please don’t be mad at us!

Please accept our apologies for our serious lack of blog offerings over the past week.  It’s not that we don’t care to bring you spectacular Catholic insights or keep your Facebook Newsfeed, inbox, or Twitter accounts buzzing.  We do.

However, we are but four lowly youth ministers who are also all parents and spouses.  And, you may have noticed that May is a VERY BUSY time of the year.  I will not assume that this time of the year is any busier for us than it is for anyone else, but it is exceptionally busy in the world of youth ministry.  We have all been wrapped up with graduating senior events, final youth group meetings, wrapping up PSR/CCD classes, Confirmations, getting summer trips/forms/money/arrangement finalized, etc.

Please accept our sincerest apologies for not making our blog writing a priority and know that we DO love to write and will have a plethora of offerings for you, your friends, and families as we draw closer to the summer.  We thank you for your loyal readership and hope you’ll stick with us because if you’ve liked what we’ve written so far, there’s plenty more where those came from!

Have a happy end of the school year and may you not be too overwhelmed with activities, either!

-The Catholic Realists-

Youth Ministers – More Than Meets the Eye

Most youth ministers who are worth their salt will happily and proudly tell you that they went into this field of work because they felt called to it.  And, I definitely agree.  Being a youth minister is 100% a vocation.  You have to have a deep understanding of the overall mission of the Church, believe in the young Church even when they seem like a lost cause, and want nothing more than to equip, empower, teach, and lead those “lost causes” into the arms of Christ.

I’ve made it 7 years w/o owning a clown, chicken, gorilla, or any other type of costume.

But, there is a huge, huge, HAAA-UUUGE misunderstanding about what youth ministers do, particularly for people who aren’t actively involved in youth ministry or who don’t have youth of their own.  And, not surprisingly, the teens don’t “see the forest for the trees” so to speak.  They (and many others) think that youth ministers spend a lot of time “hanging out with teens” or “going on fun trips” or “getting pies in their faces” or “eating pizza.”

While all those things are undoubtedly things that most of us have done (what youth group would be complete without pizza or messy games?), that’s not WHAT WE DO.  Those are things that happen that we participate in.  We don’t pursue this calling, this VOCATION, just to go to summer camp or water parks.

So, here is a very, very short list of some of the roles/jobs that are required of youth ministers…some of the things that people may not realize that we do on a regular basis.

1.) Teacher & Google

Our number one job is to catechize the youth of the Church.  We have a responsibility to teach them the truths & teachings of the Catholic faith in a orthodox way that they can understand, discuss, and process.  And, not only do we have to know and understand WHAT we’re teaching (and do so in a systematic way), but we have to be ready to be a human Google about any and all faith-related questions.  No matter how prepared you think you are, teens have an amazing talent of asking the most random, outside the box, unexpected questions that you DIDN’T plan for.  But, you’ve got to be ready to answer.



2.) Event Planner

Every single week, at least once a week and sometimes more than once, we have to event plan.  From food to engaging activities to handouts to prayers to atmosphere, every detail has to be lined up and ready to go.  We worry about enough to eat, the right lighting, the sound system working, the teens having a good time.  Every.Single.Week.  And, on top of that, there are ACTUAL parties we plan – Fall Kick Off, Advent Party, Retreats (at least 2-3 a year), Senior Dinners, etc.  We get really good at knowing how much food to bring and what kind of music sets the right mood.

 
3.) Spiritual Guide/Moral Compass
We are in constant conversation with the teens who are in the youth group (some more regularly than others).  And, that means constant questions about their spiritual lives, making moral choices, living rightly, etc. come up. Some teens are very open and keep you up to date on everything happening and want your advice practically daily.  Others will hit you up via text, phone call, Facebook message, etc. only when there’s a big problem or they feel confused, anxious, need prayers, lonely, sad, whatever emotion.  We have a huge responsibility to be in direct conversation with the Holy Spirit on a regular basis so that we can do our best to respond and guide these young people into the love of Christ.



4.) Supporter/Cheerleader
Games.  Concerts.  Performances.  Buying what they are selling for teams, choirs, groups, etc.  We are there as much as we can.  We are supporting them constantly via social media.  We have to be aware of big tests, auditions, games, college submissions, try-outs, whatever so that we can ask about it, cheer them on, and support them through the process.  We have to encourage them when those things take precedence over Church things (as they do, more often than not).  We feel their joy when they succeed and their hurt when they fail.

5.) Reference

If there’s a college scholarship, organization, group, or job that needs a reference letter for a teenager, we have probably written a recommendation, filled out a form, or answered questions over the phone.  If a kid is regularly involved in the youth group (and, heck, sometimes if they are not!), the youth minister is generally #1 on the list to ask for a recommendation.  And, boy, those things can be difficult to write sometimes!

6.) Confidant

On many occasions, we are brought into serious situations happening in teens‘ lives, families, and relationships.  And, I do mean serious.  From deaths of family members and friends to abuse in homes to suicide attempts to drug problems and teen pregnancies (just to name a few), we’ve all been there.  We’re often contacted first by the family or been told in confidence about something before a counselor or police officer.  We’ve lost sleep, cried, sought counsel, prayed and prayed and prayed some more.  We’ve watched pain unfold, seen teens leave the faith, and, thankfully, seen healing and growth, too.

Ultimately, the vocation of youth ministry is a call to LOVE a very specific group of people in ways that are very specific to their needs.  And, it’s anything but easy.  It’s an uphill battle 90% of the time.  It’s a thankless job where maybe 10 out of every 100 teens or families ever offers gratitude for what you’ve done.

But, we don’t say “yes” because it’s easy and we don’t do it to be told “thanks”.  We do it because it’s part of the mission of the Church – it’s OUR part of the mission.  Though my time as a youth minister will soon be coming to an end, my love for the young Church has not and will not ever change.  Being a youth minister has formed me into the adult, wife, mother, and friend that I am.  I am thankful I was called to it.